Pooping On The Page

The reason why I haven’t been as active a blogger into the start of this new year is because I have been pooping on the page. No, not like that. Nooooooo! I have been letting blood out of a stone, writing every day for at least 10 minutes nonstop. As someone who thinks about writing, reads voraciously, and writes on a daily basis to complete strangers or general acquaintances, writing each day for ten minutes about characters that I wish audiences could see on a screen is hard work (especially if you have not written longhand for more than timed five minutes without any distractions). When this person has held onto the valves of your heart for years and you want to see them grow outside of you, this kind of birthing process lends to an anxiety that I can only assume is 1/4 of what human childbirth and rearing must feel like. Right? I’ve heard of directors talking about their “babies”- the first inkling of ideas for a script being realized and then the final project of a film, webseries or television show seeing the light of day only to be praised or ripped apart, or both. As a creative person, having your work dissected by other human minds is frightening. Exhilarating, surely. But your thoughts and parts of your identity are the DNA to every artwork that you may produce and to have it up for discussion is for bold and brave. So to even write creatively for 10 minutes a day is a huge accomplishment and to have a final piece of art out of those ten minutes for seven days a week, four weeks out of a month is a miracle. So, I owe it to myself to at least try and not think about editing during the writing process and if I am doing it “right”. Just doing it is good enough. This is the cornerstone, I believe, to “pooping on the page”.

I first heard of this form of pooping during a screenwriting workshop I took two weeks ago. The experience was liberating because for the second time I discovered that it’s OK to stop self-editing and to just write about anything. Anyone can do this! That’s what making pooping on the page exciting. Write on a blog on in your journal. Just write…about anything! You will soon find yourself not being able to stop and your mind will wander to people, places, and things that may have been plaguing you or ideas that just came to you in a spurt of inspiration. Don’t say no- get into it and let all those thoughts out. There could be kernels of genius waiting to be absorbed by other minds and spirits. You could help to heal or motivate the world.

So…that’s it. I have to go back and poop on a page. Feel free to join me.

 

New Year, New Beginnings

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We are eleven days into 2015, but old habits continue to die hard. Twitter beef and intolerance reign and the year of the big butt has made way for the year of big lips, and the world of Hollywood, entertainment, and media lost legendary people whose contributions to the world and bright personalities won’t ever be forgotten (Joan Rivers, Stuart Scott, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams, Ruby Dee, L’Wren Scott, and Peaches Geldof, Diem Brown, and Casey Kasem to name a handful). Meanwhile, I have been gorging on midseason television premieres and trying hard not to overextend myself this month, which I have surprisingly been successful at doing. This year is all about “letting go”, “shaking it off”, and evolving. Becoming a higher version of myself.

Having said that, words can express how wonderful last year has been for me. There were some frustrations and struggles, but I cannot complain. I moved to New York City, forged on with acting and hosting classes, was accepted to work with PIT TV, finally saw my first UCB Asssscat show (!!!!!), got a new agent, leapt many step towards becoming SAG-AFTRA, auditioned, booked, went to Fashion Week shows as a journalist, filled my brain with movies upon movies upon movies, connected with new and old friends, met family members who accepted me with open arms, questioned myself, became more confident in myself, and reflected on my life thus far. It’s important to reflect, especially for someone such as myself who can keep going and going like an Energizer Bunny with ADHD. When I slow down and really think about my past accomplishments, I get a little emotional and also mad at myself. Mad at myself for letting those demon thoughts creep into my head “What have you really done lately?”  “When so-and-so was your age, they already were nominated for such-and-such award/won such-and-such award”, etc. This type of thinking is BS. It really is. Joan Didion is the new face of Celine now. Anything is possible when you are fierce and smart.

Amen

Amen

There is no legitimate reason to become brainwashed by mantras attached to people that don’t know me, my background, and my talents. I hope that in 2015 people realize that they can accomplish their goals and dreams without succumbing to starvation by juicing. Squash that noise. I will drink kale, celery and apple juice and eat salmon with a side of roasted potatoes, thank you very much! Variety, variety, variety people.

So, for 2015 I hope for peace, love, and happiness with oneself. This blog will go through some changes, which is also what this letter really boils down to. I will be multitasking and not always able to write every day, but I will write! I will just take my time and be more reflective and analyze much more instead of throwing a “What’s Hot or Not” type post. I have been so inspired by Leandra Medine’s Man Repeller blog lately and it’s concept and am thinking that the focus of this blog won’t shift away from the entertainment industry, lest I talk more about my personal experiences coupled with the newest, best television show you should be watching and why. I have seen and heard a lot of crazy in years past, whether en route to auditions, in class, or at a screening and would like to share in a more intimate way. I will also start to write specifically about my journey to Oprah-like proportional success, or something like it, on my friend Le’s food and film website, Tinsel and Tine. She was just gifted the opportunity to be a Brand Ambassador for Lee Daniels’ new TV show on FOX, “Empire”. I am now going from interviewing Hollywood actors, directors, and producers and reviewing films for her site to talking about my desire to be one of those interviewed for my art one day. Praise be to her for even asking me to be a part of her website as a writer from the first moment we met, based on a mutual friend’s suggestion.

I’m going harder in 2015, but smarter. Saying no when my instincts tell me so. Learning to embrace difficulty. Writing more. Realizing projects that have been in my head for years. Going to more gigs, museums, art shows, and plays. Getting started on my YouTube channel. Reading young adult books, new adult books, and everything in between, and making sure that I write the debrief about these experiences and more on this blog. Here’s to a new year and new beginnings.