This is the first recap of a television show I’ve done in a long while and certainly the first WWE Raw Recap I’ve EVER written. I’m not going to sit on my futon and pretend like I didn’t have a good time taking notes of tonight’s matches– I laughed, I shamed the boring Corpus Cristi, Texas crowd and cried with Lana at the end. I’m not a longtime professional wrestling fan, but I highly appreciate what a lot of the current professional wrestlers today are cooking these days….and I’m here for it all. I’m a believer. My body is ready. So, let’s just get straight into tonight’s WWE Monday Night Raw, highlighting my favorite matches.
OK, so where do we begin? Oh yes, Seth Rollins is looking for the Demon King aka Finn Bálor’s naughty alter-ego. Just like Rollins, I too want to know where he is because who doesn’t want more Bálor in their lives? Rollins mentions that we have six days left until Summerslam and at this point, I’m thinking that if I don’t see Finn in some body paint tonight, then what am I here for? Eventually Seth goes inside, because the whole show can’t just be the audience watching Seth look for the Demon King all night…although that would have been funny.
Ahhh, Lana and Rusev. I love these two. They are the cutest and their honeymoon pictures on social media proved it. Next thing I know, Rusev is talking about how Roman Reigns ruined his and Lana’s honeymoon celebration and Rusev is so upset that he goes on to say that until Roman shows his face, no RAW and no matches. Um, excuse me but I don’t think the paying audience will be OK with that Rusev. But alas, Rusev wants some R-E-S-P-E-C-T and both Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon were having none of his word vomit! Mick Foley tells Rusev to get out of the ring….but that was like telling a cat to stop rolling in a mountain of catnip. “This behavior is completely unacceptable,” says Stephanie. You got that right! I love Rusev, but to get respect, you have to give respect. People want to see a match! Not your slighted ego monologue in the ring. Eventually Roman shows up, and then things get really ugly…speaking of ugly, Roman says that when Lana and Rusev bump uglies they are going to produce the ugliest Sasquatch babies. Um… no I highly doubt that Roman, but you can think that if you want to. Rusev claps back at Roman and says he’s a wannabe superstar. It’s on!
Finally, Reigns says that he wants to fight Rusev tonight and can’t wait until Summerslam on Sunday. Stephanie says that the title match is still going down at the PayPerView event, but since Reigns is itching to battle it out with Rusev, they can fight tonight in a regular ol’ match, with Rusev tasked to defend Lana’s honor. No pressure Rusev.
After a commercial break, we are taken back to the ring and the next match between Sheamus and Sami Zayn. As much as I like Zayn, this match was a little boring to me. For those interested, Zayn defeated Sheamus, thanks to Cesaro being a good little distraction. Another match that really did not do it for me tonight was surprisingly The New Day versus The Dudley Boyz. I LOVE The New Day and they are so entertaining, but without Big E, something was missing…a piece of their je ne sais quois.
However, when Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens arrived, I was quiet and attentive and all in for their snark and quick wit. These two together are a perfect tag team and paired to fight Cass and Enzo? Can I get an amen?! Cass won this round, but this foursome’s rivalry is here to last for awhile. I love Cass and Enzo as well, so it’s hard for me to choose between them and JeriKo…SummerSlam this year is going to be something else.
Although this fight lasted less than three minutes, my girl Nia Jax demolished a blue-haired Rachel Levy and looked as over it while pinning her down as I did. Levy came into the ring talking about how watching the Summer Olympics has inspired her to be all that she can be, and then Nia went Simone Biles on every inch of her being. Nia is gorgeous and I believe has a ton of potential…can we see her in the ring with Charlotte or Sasha Banks? Now I kind of wish that she went to Smackdown so I can see her wrestle against Becky Lynch or Nattie…
Then came Brock Lesnar versus Heath Slater, with Slater talking about providing for his gaggle of children, as if Lesnar cared. He sure did not and suplexed Slater to oblivion. Lesnar was not there for Slater’s sob story, but to remind folks about his impending domination at the upcoming SummerSlam. BYE HEATH.
I’m not going to lie — the Neville and Jinder Mahal, Primetime Players with Bob Backlund vs. The Shining Stars, Anderson and Gallows vs. The Golden Truth…also not my favorite matches of the night. Maybe it was because I was too hyped for the Demon King to come out and play. After much taunting by Rollins, he eventually came out and I.was.ready. However, some fans were not, as I witnessed on Twitter, stating that the Demon King should have been saved for SummerSlam. Oh well, I thought it was fun to see, even though the crowd reaction was a bit lackluster. Rollins looked a little shaken up and we can only imagine who will come out as victor in their match this coming Sunday. I missed a fan getting into the ring and being tackled….who said you could be a part of the in-ring action bruh?!
Then we had another short match between Charlotte and Alicia Fox, in which Charlotte remained victorious. This one irked me, because Fox had a little bit of a hiatus and while it’s understandable that she may have to be eased back in because so much has happened since her recent return to the ring, this match was so meh for me, with Charlotte getting another win. Of course, a match with Charlotte is nothing without a little controversy and Sasha Banks, who was doing commentary during her fight, is called into the ring. Charlotte gets petty, putting Banks into a Figure Eight hold for what feels like hours. She lets go after awhile, with commentators believing that Charlotte could have plotted this move in order to injure Banks before her SummerSlam match. Charlotte, girl, do you have more issues than Muscle & Fitness magazine?
The final match of the night belonged to Rusev and Reigns and this was a great one, with both men giving it their all. Just when we thought Rusev could take Roman out, Roman keeps coming back for more. Reigns gets kicked in the stomach, kicked in the back of his head, blow by blow, but nothing works and he ends up winning the match, sending Lana in tears. Thanks a lot Rusev.